The difference between sobriety and recovery. Not many people think about it in this way, but these two things are not the same.

For me, I had to get sober before I could recover and I think this is true for most people.

Sobriety

Sobriety is stopping the substance.

In twelve steps, it is recommended that you don’t make any major life changes in your first year of sobriety.

It's not because we have some overwhelming desire to control you and your life. It's because in your first year you want your focus and energy to go into NOT DRINKING.  Period.

I’m not talking about changes like changing your toothpaste. But big changes like starting or ending a relationship, a new job, moving to a new city- these changes disrupt your life and routine. They can also create additional stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and general discomfort.

You don't want situations and activities that are going to cause you to have high highs, or low lows. You want to stay even, because highs and lows are going to ...

I have been a Life Coach for many years. 

I've  worked with people for all kinds of things, setting job goals and creating strategy around that, recovering from a divorce and starting life over, recovering from significant weight loss and building self esteem in that new life, empty nesters recovering from children and adapting to a new way of life and figuring out what that's going to look like... all of it is a process of recovery, growth and change.

And right now, especially because of this pandemic, we're all having to do a lot of adapting to a new lifestyle.

Through all of the work I've done, with myself and my clients, I consistently see the same mistake.

You wonder why your choices aren't working out for you.

You start to second guess your every decision because it seems like you are always wrong or screwing things up.

It feels like nothing will go your way.

The good news is... you're not crazy. There's nothing wrong with you and you aren't bad at making decisions.

The...

Expectations are premeditated resentments. This always strikes a chord for me when I hear it, of course because there is so much truth in this simple statement.

When I started this journey of recovery, this is yet another piece of my puzzle that I didn’t understand or recognize. I had zero understanding that I put all these expectations on people and outcomes and situations- and then ended up mad when it didn’t go the way I thought it should go.

I know you are going to relate to this, too- because it’s human nature! It is something everyone does. Addiction or no addiction- these expectations are out here running wild in the streets.

Let me give you a simple example- I caught myself in this one,  years ago when I just learning about expectations.

I’m driving to my boyfriend's house and I’m excited to see him, he was in a pretty good mood when we were on the phone so I’m thinking I’m going to get there and when I walk in he’s going to give me a fantastic hug and he’s going to be re...

You know I am a believer that everything is the product of a million little things.

Our recovery, our lives, our relationships, our personalities- all of it is the product of a million little things. Just like the micro decisions I always talk about.

Something I stress a lot to my clients is to think of yourself as a thousand piece puzzle. Do you realize how small those pieces are?

Some are bigger than others, but we are made up of a lot of pieces.

When I talk about my past and tell you that I wasn’t very nice and I was selfish and manipulative- those are just a few of my pieces. I was also extremely kind and loving and generous. Those are a few more of my pieces.

One of my pieces is entrepreneur, and one is alcoholic.

I will tell you, my anger piece got much smaller when I got sober and so did my judgmental piece. And with that, other pieces got much bigger.

The pieces we are going to talk about today are the selfish and self-centered pieces.

I’m sure we have heard th...

In my day, we went out and bought all the self-help books and vowed to get our lives together and try harder than we’ve ever tried before! And you start a whole life makeover plan and eat better and workout and start journaling every day and you have a whole new commitment to life. 

For about a week. 

Now, you do the same thing, but you hit the internet and podcasts and all the sober people's books. I’m sad I didn’t have all this good stuff when I was struggling and that’s also what fuels me to continue creating a ton of resources and information for you so you can find everything you need, learn at your own pace, and have honesty and knowledge about alcoholism, addiction, and recovery. 

There seems to be this misconception that you have to be one or the other- you either fit in the box of having your shit together or you fit in the box of being an alcoholic. But, the truth is, it is almost always a combination of both. 

We have talked about high & low bottoms on this show many t...

It’s a daily struggle

You feel like you are never enough. Not only do you have to eliminate alcohol from your life, but you have to learn how to think in a way that is more supportive of your new sober life.

In one of our online recovery meetings the other day one of our members said she knows whatever her first thought is, it’s usually wrong. She said she has come to terms with the fact that when she recognizes her first thought in a situation, she automatically does the opposite. 

It’s so true. I was the same way in the beginning. 

You have heard me tell the story of my early sobriety when someone approached me at a meeting and invited me to a girls dinner with several ladies from AA.

I was about two weeks sober and scared to death. 

I’m an introvert and I had major social anxiety so this was not something in my comfort zone. And when I was new, my anxiety was unbearable.  The only places I wanted to be were home, and my AA group. 

She invites me to this dinner, I don’t kno...

Like the warrior she is, she survived one day at a time feeling like she was just hanging on by a thread. Sobriety doesn’t come with ‘knowing’ what to do. Sobriety comes with DOING what you know to do.

Jen Elizabeth shares her story of the worst of worst. Homelessness, cults, trauma, eating out of dumpsters. And, while in jail, she had her light bulb moment that brought it all together.

Now, 9 years sober, a mom, a homeowner, author, and a true survivor- when you think you’ve got it bad, think again.

When you think sobriety is hard, you don’t know what to do minute to minute, your brain is working overtime reminding you of all the crazy, effed up, stupid sh*t you did in your addiction and you want to run away and numb it all in the bottom of a bottle- stop. And listen.

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Dear Relapse,

I am not afraid to honestly tell you, I hate you.  I do not hate many things in my life and it is not a word or emotion that I use recklessly, but for you it is appropriate.

You are a predator.  You lurk around preying on the slightest moment of vulnerability in myself and the people I love.  You are dirty and under-handed, and you should be ashamed.

I pray each day that I never meet you myself.  And I pray even more for the sake of those that do meet you.  I pray for their safe return to a safe place.  I pray for them to have the strength to come back, the strength to reach out, and the strength to be loved back into one piece.

Tonight I pray for my friend who met you yesterday.  I am sending him every ounce of fight I have, hoping that he will have the power to take his sobriety back, and hoping that he sees you have nothing to offer him.   Your promises are of a lifetime of pain and discomfort, insecurity and hopelessness.  And nobody wants you.

Sobriety offers ...

Hey everybody, welcome to episode #89 of the Addiction Unlimited Podcast- I’m your Coach, Angela Pugh. Helping you get that clean and sober life you want.

Thank you for hanging out with me today, I hope your new year has been awesome so far. I’ve been thinking about you guys and wondering how many of you took some time to write down your new year intentions.

Most of my sessions in December and January are exactly this.  I work with a lot of people who do not have addiction struggles, too, and those clients have definitely been lining up to get their intentions on paper and get a process in place to make sure they can achieve everything they want this year.

And, many of my clients with addiction have been doing the same. And some of those who are really early in sobriety we’ve been working on focusing on those micro-decisions and small victories, and also plugging in some non-drinking rewards in life. And all of that stuff is just part of my process of coaching people for maximum s...

Hey everybody! Welcome to episode 83 of the Addiction Unlimited Podcast, I’m your coach Angela Pugh- thank you for hanging out with me today and listening to the pod, I’m really happy to be spending some time with you and getting my schedule back to normal.

Last week, I was a speaker at Global Entrepreneurship Week, and not only did I do my own speaking gig there, but I was also asked to be on a panel talking about being a sober entrepreneur and how being sober has changed my business, or me as a business person. It was pretty amazing, honestly.

You know I do a lot of public speaking, usually about personal development and empowerment, creating change and all of those things I love, but as my businesses grow, I’m getting asked to do more things in the entrepreneurship arena and digital marketing and social media. I love all that stuff too, so it’s been really fun.

But I spent a lot of time last week at the Global Entrepreneurship conference so I spent the weekend getting caught...