The difference between sobriety and recovery. Not many people think about it in this way, but these two things are not the same.

For me, I had to get sober before I could recover and I think this is true for most people.

Sobriety

Sobriety is stopping the substance.

In twelve steps, it is recommended that you don’t make any major life changes in your first year of sobriety.

It's not because we have some overwhelming desire to control you and your life. It's because in your first year you want your focus and energy to go into NOT DRINKING.  Period.

I’m not talking about changes like changing your toothpaste. But big changes like starting or ending a relationship, a new job, moving to a new city- these changes disrupt your life and routine. They can also create additional stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and general discomfort.

You don't want situations and activities that are going to cause you to have high highs, or low lows. You want to stay even, because highs and lows are going to ...

I have been a Life Coach for many years. 

I've  worked with people for all kinds of things, setting job goals and creating strategy around that, recovering from a divorce and starting life over, recovering from significant weight loss and building self esteem in that new life, empty nesters recovering from children and adapting to a new way of life and figuring out what that's going to look like... all of it is a process of recovery, growth and change.

And right now, especially because of this pandemic, we're all having to do a lot of adapting to a new lifestyle.

Through all of the work I've done, with myself and my clients, I consistently see the same mistake.

You wonder why your choices aren't working out for you.

You start to second guess your every decision because it seems like you are always wrong or screwing things up.

It feels like nothing will go your way.

The good news is... you're not crazy. There's nothing wrong with you and you aren't bad at making decisions.

The...

Expectations are premeditated resentments. This always strikes a chord for me when I hear it, of course because there is so much truth in this simple statement.

When I started this journey of recovery, this is yet another piece of my puzzle that I didn’t understand or recognize. I had zero understanding that I put all these expectations on people and outcomes and situations- and then ended up mad when it didn’t go the way I thought it should go.

I know you are going to relate to this, too- because it’s human nature! It is something everyone does. Addiction or no addiction- these expectations are out here running wild in the streets.

Let me give you a simple example- I caught myself in this one,  years ago when I just learning about expectations.

I’m driving to my boyfriend's house and I’m excited to see him, he was in a pretty good mood when we were on the phone so I’m thinking I’m going to get there and when I walk in he’s going to give me a fantastic hug and he’s going to be re...

In my day, we went out and bought all the self-help books and vowed to get our lives together and try harder than we’ve ever tried before! And you start a whole life makeover plan and eat better and workout and start journaling every day and you have a whole new commitment to life. 

For about a week. 

Now, you do the same thing, but you hit the internet and podcasts and all the sober people's books. I’m sad I didn’t have all this good stuff when I was struggling and that’s also what fuels me to continue creating a ton of resources and information for you so you can find everything you need, learn at your own pace, and have honesty and knowledge about alcoholism, addiction, and recovery. 

There seems to be this misconception that you have to be one or the other- you either fit in the box of having your shit together or you fit in the box of being an alcoholic. But, the truth is, it is almost always a combination of both. 

We have talked about high & low bottoms on this show many t...

Are You Alcoholic? 

When you want to make changes in your life it's easy to fall off track because that’s how we're wired.

Change is hard and changing habits is hard because we are hardwired to stay the same.

One of the things that makes it easier for me is when I have things laid out, super simple, to keep me on track. 

That’s why I make you all of these worksheets and cheat sheets- the road to success is keeping things very simple, and getting consistent. When you can master consistency, that’s when your true power kicks in and you can accomplish anything!

This conversation actually leads me perfectly into today’s topic- there is a saying that floats around all over the internet, and it is powerful:   

I have no idea who said it or where it comes from- I’ve seen it hundreds of times over the years and it strikes such a deep chord with me. 

I was never a person in denial. I never tried to convince myself I wasn’t an alcoholic because I don’t really care about the word o...

Like the warrior she is, she survived one day at a time feeling like she was just hanging on by a thread. Sobriety doesn’t come with ‘knowing’ what to do. Sobriety comes with DOING what you know to do.

Jen Elizabeth shares her story of the worst of worst. Homelessness, cults, trauma, eating out of dumpsters. And, while in jail, she had her light bulb moment that brought it all together.

Now, 9 years sober, a mom, a homeowner, author, and a true survivor- when you think you’ve got it bad, think again.

When you think sobriety is hard, you don’t know what to do minute to minute, your brain is working overtime reminding you of all the crazy, effed up, stupid sh*t you did in your addiction and you want to run away and numb it all in the bottom of a bottle- stop. And listen.

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Dear Relapse,

I am not afraid to honestly tell you, I hate you.  I do not hate many things in my life and it is not a word or emotion that I use recklessly, but for you it is appropriate.

You are a predator.  You lurk around preying on the slightest moment of vulnerability in myself and the people I love.  You are dirty and under-handed, and you should be ashamed.

I pray each day that I never meet you myself.  And I pray even more for the sake of those that do meet you.  I pray for their safe return to a safe place.  I pray for them to have the strength to come back, the strength to reach out, and the strength to be loved back into one piece.

Tonight I pray for my friend who met you yesterday.  I am sending him every ounce of fight I have, hoping that he will have the power to take his sobriety back, and hoping that he sees you have nothing to offer him.   Your promises are of a lifetime of pain and discomfort, insecurity and hopelessness.  And nobody wants you.

Sobriety offers ...

Hello friends, welcome to episode #79 of the Addiction Unlimited Podcast, I’m your Coach, Angela Pugh. Here to help you get that sober life you want! Thank you for hanging out with me today and listening to the pod- I’ve got an awesome topic today with a little bit of a truth bomb- that relapse is a choice.

That’s right, you heard me, my friends, it’s a choice. And we are going to dig into that in depth in just a moment. But first- let’s do a quick shoutout-

This shout out is going to be to my Facebook group members who are stepping up and getting raw and honest and posting in their first 1-2 days of sobriety. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

The bravery it takes to show yourself, to share your struggle- and it’s so smart of you to reach out and let people know exactly where you are! Those are the actions that show me you are serious about not drinking, you want help and support and guidance, you aren’t hiding in the shadows letting addiction run the show- you are creating accountability and bein...

These stumbling blocks can pop up at any time in our lives and at any stage of sobriety so it’s good to be aware and know how to work around them.

This is my observation over the course of the last decade+ working with addiction, being an addict, AND being a Life Coach studying behavior and personal development.

Most of the tools I talk about are centered around the art of change and breaking habits and understanding how all of that works. It just so happens that getting sober or quitting drinking is a HUGE change- and it requires action, intention, and being purposeful about the moves you make so you can get the results you want.

It’s like GPS for your life. You wouldn’t get in your car for a cross-country road trip and not use a map or GPS, right? Because who knows what would happen or where you would end up. So it doesn’t make sense to try to navigate a ginourmous shift in your life without guidance and an understanding of your destination.

Know what your big picture goals are...