Are You Investing In Your Recovery?

Hello friends! Welcome to episode 81 of the Addiction Unlimited Podcast, I’m your Coach Angela Pugh and I’m so glad we are spending time together today-

I have a super duper topic for you today- one of the most valuable lessons I have learned over the years, and of course I wasted about a million years being stubborn and not following direction because I was so immature and caught up in being obstinate that I didn’t want to do anything people told me.

But this has paid off enormously, once I was finally ready to listen- and it has increased the quality of my life, my emotional maturity, and for sure my business.

But first, let’s do a shoutout! This comment was in the FB group, and since the group is totally private, I will not say the person’s name-  I don’t mind saying names of listeners and clients who post in public forums, but I will always protect the privacy of our FB members because it is private!

She says- I just want to give a shout out to everyone involved in the group coaching calls. It really energizes me for my week and inspires me! If you have been sitting on the fence about participating in/signing up for the coaching calls, DO IT!! It’s uplifting, you get wisdom, and Henry shows up to brighten your day. Highlight of my week, thanks Angela for this great opportunity and to those who participate!

And thank you!! The group coaching is every Monday evening at 6pm central time- and you can find that at myrecoverytoolbox.com/recovery-tools, myrecoverytoolbox.com/recovery-tools-  and of course I will link to that in the show notes so you can get there right from your podcast app- it’s super simple when you sign up, you will get an email from me an hour or two before the group with a link to an online conference room- you click the link right from your email and it takes you into an online conference room and we chat about various things-  and Henry, my dog usually joins us on the chat because he likes to be involved.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post such lovely words about our group! It really is supportive and a great way to connect with others and hear their strategies, and to support one another in this journey. So thank you thank you thank you for that- you can sign up for the group coaching at …

I get asked all the time how I got sober and how I’ve stayed sober- and it’s all about investing.

Investing doesn’t always mean money- it’s time, energy, purpose, commitment. And I ask my clients, and all the other people that ask me about this- Would you rather invest in yourself to get a better outcome, or do nothing and get the same result of this never-ending relapse wheel or getting sober and still dealing with crazy anxiety and having no idea what the heck you’re doing or if you’re doing it right or if it’s going to work.

That’s what I did for a long time, and I don’t recommend it.

If you know why you are getting clean and sober then it is easier to stay clean and sober.

I was so tired of not living the life I wanted, never going the places I wanted to go, never keeping a job, or not being disciplined- having relationships that were a hot mess because I was a hot mess- I couldn’t commit to anything, I couldn’t follow through on anything, I was always late, always hungover, always felt like everyone was better than me- and I had no idea how to get out.

I hit a point in my life where I just didn’t want that anymore. What do we say- sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was so tired of it all, tired of being who I was, tired of not having the life I wanted. And I needed help.

And, the truth is, I had to be willing to help myself. You’ve heard me talk about all these concepts on different podcast episodes- I had to be teachable, I had to be willing, I had to be committed, and I had to invest in all those things. AND, the things I invested money into, oftentimes were the things I got the greatest results from because by investing money in a coach or a program, I was way more invested in my investment, because I was invested financially.

You hear it all the time, put your money where your mouth is. When I was really ready to hit next-level growth, I would figure out a way to pay for it, no matter what. And before I would challenge myself to find a way to pay for what I needed, I had to make sure my level of willingness, teachability, and commitment were there.

When I hired my first Life Coach, I didn’t have any money. But I knew it was what I wanted and needed to overcome certain obstacles. One of the things I have learned about myself is, I HAVE TO have accountability. I have to have someone that is waiting for me to finish something or do something or follow through on a commitment.

Because I won’t let someone else down- but if I only make a commitment in my head, and I don’t share it with anyone, then I’m letting myself down and that seems to be pretty easy for me. That sounds sad, but it’s true! I have a health coach because logging my meals every day and my steps every day and my workouts, holds me accountable to do it. And I do it.

I have a business coach because I will let my fear hold me back from doing the things I know I need to do for my business, but I’m too scared to start or fearful you guys won’t like my products or videos so I procrastinate. But if my coach says, let’s have XYZ done by Friday, I will absolutely do it. I have to have accountability. And it’s my job to invest in creating that situation for myself because I know it’s what I need.

So, my first coach was pretty inexpensive because I didn’t have money- so I found someone who was just starting out as a coach, and they needed practice and clients, and they did coaching really cheap because they were new.

There were two problems with my logic- one, I was farther along in the coaching journey so I found myself wanting to coach and teach my coach, lol.  You guys know, I am a Coach to my core and I am always teaching- it’s what I love. So that dynamic was not getting me the guidance and accountability I needed. And two, because I only invested a little bit of money, I only had a little bit of commitment.

It’s the craziest thing, but I swear to you, the amount of money someone is willing to invest in themselves, is a direct correlation to the amount of time and energy and commitment they are willing to invest.  

Fast forward several years, after going around and around and screwing up some business ventures and spinning my wheels making little progress, I finally got really sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I decided to invest big. Because I wanted big results. I didn’t want the same BS results I had created for myself where I ended up still feeling trapped in a cycle and completely lost and confused.

I found  a coach I wanted to work with, and she was $400/session. And I did not have an extra $400 laying around doing nothing- it felt like a lot. And I had to really challenge myself to spend that money. She was specialized, she had the knowledge and experience I wanted, and this time, I was committed on a different level. So I hired her.

And because the investment felt so big, the work I put into it was really big! And the results I got were really big.

You’ve heard me talk about this before too- I have given away tens of thousands of dollars of free coaching over the years- giving people free sessions, free group sessions, I have given away my online course for free because I just want to help people. And those are usually the people that don’t show up, don’t follow through, or get on the call with me drunk.

In my online course, the Recovery Starter Kit- I can see how people progress through the course and I can look at all the courses I have given away, to be helpful, and the majority of those people don’t get past the second lesson.

And the Recovery Starter Kit is super easy and inexpensive!- it’s not long and drawn out and takes up hours of your day- you only need to invest maybe 10-15 minutes a day and be willing to follow through.

People don’t show up because they aren’t invested. When something is free, you don’t have any skin in the game and you don’t mind blowing it off or not showing up because it’s no loss to you. That’s human nature.

I think another obstacle in investing in your life and recovery is that many people have a GET mindset instead of a GIVE mindset.

When my coach shows up for me and gives me work to do with a deadline, I do it. I go the extra mile and usually finish a little early. Because I appreciate her and want her to know I’m serious and I’m invested.

I’m not thinking about what I can GET from her, I’m thinking about how I can use her knowledge and guidance and GIVE back to her in gratitude, appreciation and hard work.

She has made a commitment to her education and skill set and training to be able to provide a service to me- I am grateful for that.

I want to give her my best and do my best so she can feel fulfilled in her life and know she is helping people. I want to give her my commitment, and show up on time so I’m not wasting her time. I give.

You may look at coaching and think it’s expensive- and it is- but for me, I’ve spent 10 years of my life dedicated to becoming the professional I am. I’ve spent over $100k on my education and training so I can be of service. I’ve spent hundreds of hours in 12 step meetings, and al-anon, and even NA so I can speak from experience and not ignorance or theory.

I studied Addiction Counseling and went to Social Work school and studied psychology and neuro psychology so I could understand my head and my demons- so I can share with you.

I worked at the non-profit with people straight out of prison or coming off the streets, coaching them for $12/hour with a case load big enough for 3 coaches.

I’ve invested. Time- Money – Energy – blood sweat and tears – time away from my family – I invested in myself to get the life I want.

And because I invested so big in all those ways, my reward has been big. It doesn’t mean things are always easy. I struggle with all the same issues you struggle with- I have anxiety, sometimes I’m broke, I don’t want always want to follow direction, I’m lazy and undisciplined sometimes.

The difference now is that I know if I want to achieve the results I want, I have to invest the time and energy and sometimes money to get there.

I want you to ask yourself, right now, how much are you investing in your recovery?

Are you carving out a few minutes every day to strengthen it? Or are you putting it on the back burner and telling yourself you’re too busy? You’ll do it tomorrow, you promise yourself you’ll do something recovery related later but you never get to it.

You aren’t invested. When the committee tells you you don’t have time, that just means it isn’t a priority. I don’t have time, is just code for I don’t want to.

Because when something is a priority, you MAKE time. I promise you, you may have the busiest day ever today, but if you dropped your cell phone and broke it, I guarantee you would magically create an hour in your day to get a new phone. You know it’s true. Because that would become your main priority.

But when it comes to our recovery, our life, our integrity, we tell ourselves we are too busy, too tired, or you don’t have time.

I want you to start thinking about your life and your recovery as something you invest in. The micro-decisions you make every day- go to a meeting or skip the meeting, ask for help or let your fear take over and don’t ask for help, be committed to your recovery or blow it off, these are the investments you make when you are serious about getting your life together.

You invest the time and energy- you take half an hour on Sunday to put some things in place to support you through the week. Maybe you purchase and audio book that you can play when you are driving or grocery shopping- maybe you plan a couple of super healthy meals to feed you body and your brain and increase your energy for that day.

One of the things I do every week is I have at least one day that I eat vegetarian. For one day, sometimes two, I eat all fruits and veggies and whole grain stuff. And I have to get creative in how I do that and I have to plan it at least a day or two in advance to make sure I have enough variety of things to get me through the day. But what a great way to nourish my brain and body.

And it takes an investment of time and energy- and commitment to do it every week and plan it. The good news is, after you do it a few times it just becomes second nature and it doesn’t require so much energy.

And when it comes to meetings- I would rather you go late, than not go at all. If you can only make it to half the meeting, GO! Be respectful and quiet as you come in the door so you don’t disrupt the meeting, if it comes around the circle to you to share, pass if you aren’t comfortable sharing. Hey everybody, I’m Angela, I’m an alcoholic, I’m going to pass- or I’m just going to listen today. I would rather you get some minutes of recovery juice than get zero minutes.

So don’t let being late talk you out of going, or if you have to leave early then go, sit close to the door so you quietly exit when necessary. But go. Micro-decisions.

Maybe you start getting up 10 minutes earlier than your family so you have a few minutes to read something inspirational or do a quick visualization or meditation, or just have a few minutes of peace with a cup of coffee or a short journal entry. Maybe you invite your partner to start getting up 30 minutes early with you, and create a new ritual of walking the dog together for half an hour before your day starts. Talk about healing and bonding. Walking will change your life.

Invest in yourself- plan some healthy food, iron your clothes the night before so you aren’t rushed and frantic and effing things up in the morning, spend a few minutes telling the committee how the day is going to go so it will work with you instead of against you. Invest- time, energy, money if necessary- be intentional in how you set up your life and purposeful in those tiny micro-decisions you are making each day.

You’ve totally got this- btw. Don’t think you can’t do it, or it’s too much- there’s always a way to figure things out and make it fit. And if you need help figuring this stuff out, jump in the group coaching on a Monday and we can brainstorm different ways to feed your recovery without overwhelming you.

Be willing to invest yourself, to rebuild yourself.

Love you guys, I will put all the links in the show notes, I hope you are having a great day, and I will see you next week!

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