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The difference between sobriety and recovery. Not many people think about it in this way, but these two things are not the same.

For me, I had to get sober before I could recover and I think this is true for most people.

Sobriety

Sobriety is stopping the substance.

In twelve steps, it is recommended that you don’t make any major life changes in your first year of sobriety.

It's not because we have some overwhelming desire to control you and your life. It's because in your first year you want your focus and energy to go into NOT DRINKING.  Period.

I’m not talking about changes like changing your toothpaste. But big changes like starting or ending a relationship, a new job, moving to a new city- these changes disrupt your life and routine. They can also create additional stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and general discomfort.

You don't want situations and activities that are going to cause you to have high highs, or low lows. You want to stay even, because highs and lows are going to ...

Expectations are premeditated resentments. This always strikes a chord for me when I hear it, of course because there is so much truth in this simple statement.

When I started this journey of recovery, this is yet another piece of my puzzle that I didn’t understand or recognize. I had zero understanding that I put all these expectations on people and outcomes and situations- and then ended up mad when it didn’t go the way I thought it should go.

I know you are going to relate to this, too- because it’s human nature! It is something everyone does. Addiction or no addiction- these expectations are out here running wild in the streets.

Let me give you a simple example- I caught myself in this one,  years ago when I just learning about expectations.

I’m driving to my boyfriend's house and I’m excited to see him, he was in a pretty good mood when we were on the phone so I’m thinking I’m going to get there and when I walk in he’s going to give me a fantastic hug and he’s going to be re...